Narcissus - the real curse

Narcissism became a commonly used word in our daily life, indicating a psychological diagnosis of being a completely self-absorbed, arrogant, full of self-love and seeing others as unworthy of his/her love.

However, the real Greek myth about Narcissus has a very different meaning. The story is more poignant, deeper and better reflects intricacies of our inner psychological life.

The real story of Narcissus includes the fact that the Gods punished him for being so arrogant and so in love with himself by this curse: "May those who don't love others, love themselves!" . THIS is a real curse. As Robert Graves wrote in his book "The Greek Myths", "How could he endure both to possess and yet not to possess?" The curse was to experience love but without love's consummation... (which only happens with another person).

It would not be painful to just never experience what love is. However Gods are wiser and crueller, and they really know how to punish. They made you know exactly what you are missing...

The real story ends with the fact that Narcissus could not endure forever loving only himself. The true meaning of the myth is that loving only oneself is a curse, a punishment, abnormal condition that leads nowhere. For some reason, it's common to know and re-tell only a part of a story, and make conclusions which are not reflective of the full wisdom of the ancients.

Also, what comes to mind is the Portuguese and Brazilian notion of Sodade - the feeling of longing for something that you once had and know you can never have. It's less tragic than the end of Narcissus, but that's the difference between life and myth...

Narcissus